The special days

Life with a baby is very consuming.  So many diapers and feedings, attending to cries, trying to keep up on laundry.  Balancing work with a baby.  It's hard enough when the baby is your only one.  But if you have more kids, they need just as much from you in different ways.

Jude has truly been the best big brother.  Honestly.  My sweet little boy posesses all the characteristics of a good person.  An old soul and the age of 3 1/2, he posesses empathy, sensitivity, and is genuine and kind.  We have yet to experience the horrible obstinance and temper flare-ups associated with his age group.  Sure, every once in awhile he loses his mind over something.  But all in all, he is simply a really good kid.

I make it a point to escape once in awhile with my sweet boy.  We go out and we do something together, whether it's an adventure walk around the neighborhood, a trip to the zoo, or a drive through Starbucks to go get a coffee for myself and a Horizon Vanilla Milk for him- I make it a mission to have some alone time with him.  He might not appreciate it as much as I do, but it's a chance for us to reconnect.  To escape the sometimes demanding jobs we have of being an older brother and a mom of two.

Saturday was a day we got to escape for a couple of hours just the two of us.  We decided to leave Luca at home playing with Daddy and sneak a quick trip to the zoo aquarium and butterfly garden.  It was a great day filled with a gazillion of Jude's questions.  He is especially fascinated with what animals eat- the gorier the better.  I'm not sure he is so much interested in the gore, he just wants reassurance that the animal doesn't eat kids.

Me: "That's a Honduran Milk Snake."

Jude: "What does he eat?"

Me: "It says here they eat slugs, insects, crickets and earthworms."

Jude: "But does he eat kids?"

Me: "Nope.  No kids."

(Races to the very next display)

Jude: "Whoa!  What is THIS?"

Me:  "It's an African Bullfrog. It eats insects, small rodents, reptiles, small birds."

Jude:  "But does he eat kids?"

Wash, rinse, repeat.

I'm sure I'll be confronted in this new DOES HE EAT KIDS? phase with Jude about an animal that does, in fact, eat kids if presented the opportunity.  I think I need to figure out a response to that one.  My little worrywart won't like the straightforward honest answer of "Yup, that one eats kids!"

The best part of our escaped time together isn't so much the seemingly big events of the day.  The best are the small, inconsequential moments.  The joy of kicking soccer snowballs all through the zoo parking lot on the way to the car upon leaving.  The shrieks of pure delight as muddy snow ricochets about, Jude breathless with delight as he does the things that boys do best. 

And I smile and close my eyes for one second, making a promise to myself that I'll never forget these small moments.  These special days.

Luca's Birth Story (Part II)

My induction was started at 7 am on November 21, 2011.  I was hooked up to Pitocin and my OB showed up to break my water when I was about four cm dialated.  It actually turned out that at some point, my placenta had developed a slow leak anyways, probably due to all the contractions I had experienced all weekend!

I can say with absolute certainty that Pitocin is the devil.  The contractions were long and dramatic.  And painful.  Oh so painful.  Because of my sensitivity to epidurals that became evident during my labor with Jude, I declined an epidural and just dealt with the pain.  I really wasn't prepared for it.  The contractions I experienced with Jude before the epidural were nothing compared to these.  By the time I was dialated to 7 cm, I was in complete agony and taking it all out on my poor husband.  At one point, he started to sit down in a chair.  I directed a slew of insults at him that basically surmounted to "You don't get to sit even for one second until this baby is out!"

After what felt like an eternity, I went from 7 centimeters to 10 centimeters fairly quickly and then was told that the baby was posterior.  Meaning, he was sunnyside up and this was going to make pushing him out a bit more challenging.  I attempted several different positions to push in an effort to get him to turn.  Nothing worked.  After two and a half hours of pushing, I was so tired and in tears.  I just wanted him out.  At one point, I remember one of the nurses asking if I wanted to consider having a csection.  All I could think was HELL NO- I am NOT pushing for this long and enduring Pitocin contractions for 8 hours just to end up in a csection.  I finally got my baby boy out twenty minutes later!  Luca Blaise entered the world at 3:20 pm, 22 inches long, 8 lbs 8 oz.  (NOT 10 lbs).

Unfortunately, due to him being posterior and his size, I suffered a fourth degree tear that required quite a bit of aftercare to get everything stitched back up.  I also lost quite a bit of blood from it.  But, I was able to hold my baby in my arms and look at his sweet little face (that looked a lot like Jude's!) and every single second of the labor was so worth it.

Luca latched on and started nursing almost immediately.  He received a 7 for his Apgar score (he had some slow reflexes initially, probably as a result of spending almost three hours in the birth canal getting squished), but was alert and taking it all in.

I did deal with some bitter feelings about being forced to make a decision to induce a week before my due date because of 10 lb baby fears, when he turned out to be not even 9 lbs.  Because he was so long and lean, the measurements were off because ultrasounds cannot take body fat into consideration and thus, overestimated.  I can't help but think that my labor would have been cake if everything had happened when my body and Luca were ready.  If we are ever blessed with a third baby, my mind is made up that I will absolutely do a midwife and birth center.

But, here he is- moments after his birth.  Beautiful and perfect.  I'm a mommy to two boys- the luckiest gal in the world. 

My beautiful boy.  Look at his conehead from being pushed for so long!

First photo with daddy.

My amazing mother, who is an awesome labor buddy.

My sleepy sweetie.

Luca's Birth Story (Part I)

I have a lot of catching up to do.

I left off with sharing the news that I was having another little boy.  I'd like to tell the story of that little boy came to be in my arms.  After I share his story, I will post a photographic recap of his first year and we will pick up all of our new adventures from there.

Luca Blaise has always wanted us to know that he doesn't ever want to be in anyone's shadow.  Starting with his birth.

Throughout my entire pregnancy, I was measuring far ahead.  Mind you, I'm well aware that I had some pounds to lose when I got pregnant, but it was ridiculous how far ahead I was measuring.  Six weeks to be exact.  I was tested for gestational diabetes twice- both times passed with flying colors.  I had several extra ultrasounds in my third trimester and the doctor predicted a BIG baby.

The week before my due date, the ultrasound revealed predictions that he was currently 9lb 13oz.  My OB expressed concerns that if he got too big, shoulder dystocia (where the head enters the birth canal but the shoulders are too big and broad to get through, thus creating a dangerous situation for baby) told us we could :

1. Schedule a C-section for 39 weeks.
2. Schedule an induction for 39 weeks.
3. Let things happen on their own but know that if we wait until I go on my own at say, 41 weeks, shoulder dystocia could be a very real fear and I would more than likely need a c-section.

Those were my choices.

At that appointment, I was two centimeters dialated and conditions seemed favorable for an induction.  She stripped my membranes (OW!) and sent me on my way, with an induction scheduled for that Monday when I would be 39 weeks 2 days.

Throughout the weekend, I was constantly having big contractions and just when they would start to develop into a consistent pattern, they would time out.  I was dreading an induction in a big way.  Anyone that knows me, knows that I would like everything to happen on its own.  I was overwhelmed with the constant question of Is this the right decision?

The night before my induction, I was so emotional.  Another downside to scheduling a birth, you have time to dwell on the what-ifs and watch the clock tick by, knowing precisely when things will be happening.  With a spontaneous birth, you don't have time to stew and worry.  I was in tears the evening before, giving Jude his last bath as an only child, his last story as an only child.   I was in such a state of anxiety about how a new baby in the family would affect my sweet boy.  I got little to no sleep and was a ball of nerves when I arrived at Bergan Mercy Labor and Delivery for my 7 am induction on November 21, 2011.

A Continuation

I have a whole year to catch up on!  There will be a lot of changes coming in the next few weeks as I pick up our story where we left off and decide what I'd like this blog to be. 

Life has gotten pretty dang beautiful around here.


(Also, I've published some posts I had saved in Draft status about my pregnancy before we went public.)