Today is the first day I've gone to work without my pump! I feel amazingly free and not sad at all. I decided to help the transition, I would slowly stop pumping all together and continue to nurse Jude in the mornings when he wakes up and in the evenings before bed. I am not setting a timeframe to stop doing this, I will do it until I am no longer producing. Judging by how fast my milk supply decreased when I shortened my pumping sessions, I'm wagering that it won't take long at all. I'm okay with that- finally. It will be nice to have the girls back all to myself. Maybe they'll drop a size. That would sure be nice. It's funny, when I was dancing, I used to lament how small and insignificant they were. Now, they could have their own zipcode. It's amazing what a little weight gain and some lactation stimulating hormone production can do.
On the topic of weight gain, I've come to a decision. I'm done being this weight. Hear me? FINISHED. Before I got pregnant, I was well on my way back to ballerina weight. I gained 25 pounds during my pregnancy. Four months post partum, I was eating right and going to the gym and almost back to my pre- pregnancy weight. Now? Let's just say that I'm almost back to the heaviest I've ever been. It's disgusting and there is no excuse, especially when I used to take such wonderful care of my body. I used to spend hours dancing and cross training at the gym and fueling it with (mostly) wholesome foods. I don't eat awful these days, I really don't. Sure, I may have a little too much ice cream with my husband now and then. The big difference is the lack of working out. When I stopped dancing due to an injury and some other personal factors, the 6 hour a day workouts ceased. I enjoyed the new freedom I had to actually do "normal" things like watch TV or shop or go grab drinks with friends. Unfortunately, these things do anything to promote physical activity and the only thing that accompanies those things are empty calories from foods that go with those things. I'm tired of feeling so insecure all the time and the paranoia of running into someone who hasn't seen me since I quit dancing and knowing they are thinking what the hell happened to her?? So, I'm done complaining about it and actually getting off my ass and doing something. I may not be a ballerina with a company anymore, but I don't have to live like this. I can still get back my ballerina body even if I don't have a grueling rehearsal schedule and performing onstage nightly. So that's what I'm doing. I've started going to the gym and working out HARD every single day. I'm going to take up running in the evenings with an eventual goal of running a marathon within the next year. I'm taking yoga two days a week with a friend. I've quit putting complete crap in my body. I have a health screening scheduled for this week: cholesterol, blood sugar, body mass index- a complete workup. I'm sure I won't like the results, but I think it's the slap in the face that I needed to get awhile ago.
How can I show Jude what it is to be healthy and take pride in his body if I don't live it? So, I'm taking a stand and never looking back.
Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Thoughts on weaning
Well, we've started the process. Jude will be one year old in less than two weeks and as much as I hate to admit this, it is time. I always planned on breastfeeding until it was no longer mutually beneficial. I was hoping to go 18 months, but it looks like Jude, my body, and my breasts have other plans. He has been dropping feedings and my supply has plummeted. I still produce enough, but just barely. I am no longer responding to the pump and only get about two ounces a day at work. I'm so tired of pumping and pumping and pumping and not getting much. It's exhausting. I thought long and hard about it and stopping at one year is the right thing to do. I'm sick of spending 1-2 hours a day attached to the pump. I'm tired of taking 5 pills of fenugreek and blessed thistle 3 times a day. I'm tired of drinking gallons and gallons of water. I'm tired from having spent approximately 100 hours in my work's lactation room listening to the whir whir whir of the pump. I'm tired of constantly analyzing how much is left in my freezer stash versus my output for the day and doing the math in my head. With all of these reasons, plus a few more I won't bore you with.....we're weaning. I guess I always looked forward to the day I would start to stop breastfeeding and now I'm dreading it. It's the pumping that I loathe, not the breastfeeding. Another crappy thing about being a working mom- all of the stresses above are in addition to trying to maintain a good performance at work. No wonder moms have supply issues when it comes to breastmilk just from the stress of it all!
Anyways, I dropped my pumping sessions at work from 3-4 a day to one. I thought that when I did this, the engorgement would be unbearable and I would spend the day in extreme discomfort. Nope. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought I had been pumping all day. It was like my body was just waiting for any excuse to stop. I'm actually very sad writing this and I know I'm doing a poor job of forming my thoughts into words. It's amazing what you find most important once you're a mother. I'm going to miss that bond so much. I'm so glad we stuck with it for as long as we did. I know that we are ready to do this and Jude seems to be perfectly fine with it. It's me who is having the difficult time. I know that with weaning comes a crazy hormone drop which can cause the blues, so I'm thinking quite a bit of the sadness may have to do with this. We had a good run and the only regret that I do have is not investing in a deep freezer. By the time I went back to work, I had around 300 oz of breastmilk frozen and pretty much stopped any extra pumping because I didn't have room for it. In retrospect, I should've invested the $200 in a deep freeze and kept on pumping. I will keep this in mind for the next baby for sure, if we are so lucky.
Here we go, the beginning of the end of this chapter....
Anyways, I dropped my pumping sessions at work from 3-4 a day to one. I thought that when I did this, the engorgement would be unbearable and I would spend the day in extreme discomfort. Nope. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought I had been pumping all day. It was like my body was just waiting for any excuse to stop. I'm actually very sad writing this and I know I'm doing a poor job of forming my thoughts into words. It's amazing what you find most important once you're a mother. I'm going to miss that bond so much. I'm so glad we stuck with it for as long as we did. I know that we are ready to do this and Jude seems to be perfectly fine with it. It's me who is having the difficult time. I know that with weaning comes a crazy hormone drop which can cause the blues, so I'm thinking quite a bit of the sadness may have to do with this. We had a good run and the only regret that I do have is not investing in a deep freezer. By the time I went back to work, I had around 300 oz of breastmilk frozen and pretty much stopped any extra pumping because I didn't have room for it. In retrospect, I should've invested the $200 in a deep freeze and kept on pumping. I will keep this in mind for the next baby for sure, if we are so lucky.
Here we go, the beginning of the end of this chapter....
Friday, May 7, 2010
What kind of mom are you?
I was thinking the other day about all the planning that goes on once you find out you are having a baby. If you had asked me to describe the sort of mother I planned on being before Jude got here, the following description would probably sum it up best: Stroller walking, disposable diaper using, crib sleeping, breastfeeding for up to 6 months at the most, caffeine drinking, still maintaining somewhat of a social calendar, working mama. It wasn't a conscious thing, I didn't research anything, yet, I think I'm the complete opposite of all of that and it all just happened naturally.
Stroller: I will say we use it now more than we ever have previously. For at least the first 6 months, Jude was one of those babies that didn’t want to be put down. At all. End of the world to be out of my (or anyone’s arms). I’ve heard all my life that carrying a baby around too much will “spoil” him and I guess I believed that. But, once he was here and in my arms, I knew that this couldn’t be true. How can you spoil a child by holding him close to your heart rather than constantly at a distance? Why did holding him feel so much more natural to me than putting him in a stroller or playpen while I went about my business? In my gut, I felt that this wasn’t true in regards to Jude. So I held him. All the time. I invested in wraps and slings to help lessen the load, but for the first 6-8 months, he was attached to me (literally) constantly. And it WORKED! Jude loved being strapped to me or Phil all the time. He was always happy and smiling and content. Whether I was loading the dishwasher, shopping for groceries, or taking a walk around the block, it was good to be Jude. Once Jude learned to crawl a couple of months ago, it felt as though our babywearing chapter started to close just a little bit. I still pop him in a sling when he is having a clingy moment or I just need to carry him somewhere since he can’t walk yet. But with the crawling milestone, it is as if he is happy with a little independence and loves to explore his surroundings while not attached to me (though he prefers to have me within eyesight). So in our experience, babywearing Jude constantly in the beginning helped him to trust that the world was not a scary place as long as he was in mom or dad’s arms. I feel he took that experience and is now anxious to touch and see and hear the happenings going on around him. Maybe the opposite is true for other babies, I guess we’ll find out if/when we have another!
Disposable Diapers: I’ll admit I’m still on the fence about this one. We use gDiapers when not at daycare and Pampers for daycare. Before Jude, I thought cloth diapering meant squares of cloth with big ole diaper pins. Um, no. Cloth diapers now are pretty much the coolest things ever. And what’s cuter than a big fluffy cloth diapered baby butt? Um, nothing! Anyways, since this whole Pampers-causes-chemical-burns-and-rashes-on-babies-investigation, I’m really wondering why the hell I’m not asking more questions as to what is IN disposables? I don’t know, the whole thing makes me nervous. I’ve ordered the cloth diaper trial from Jillian’s Drawers and I’m sure I’ll be posting about our cloth diapering adventures soon! I’m kind of excited!
Cribs: Babies sleep in cribs, right? That’s what they do. There aren’t any other options. At least that’s what I thought before I got pregnant. When we started to get the nursery all set up, I was adamant about getting the perfect crib. And we found it, all right. It was beautiful and everything I imagined. Majestic and dark wood and perfection. So we bought it, took it home, and got it (after much cursing on my husband’s part) set up. That’s when I got uneasy. The nursery is the sitting room off of our master bedroom, and therefore, it was ideal. Jude would be sleeping literally ten feet away from me. I wouldn’t even need a monitor at night since I would hear him cry. As his due date approached, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable with him sleeping in another room, but pushed those thoughts aside. Then, the little mister was here, we brought him home, and it was bedtime. What if he stopped breathing? What if someone broke in his window and we were sleeping so heavily we didn’t even hear and they STOLE him? What if the cat somehow opens his door and decides to sleep right on his face? (Hey, when you’re post-partum and experiencing a severe hormonal fluctuation, ANY scenario you come up with in your head is totally plausible!) So, we set the pack and play up right next to the bed on my side, inches from me. The Mama Bear instincts in me woke up at even the slightest sound or movement he made. Jude was also the baby that was up pretty much every hour for the first four months, then every 2-3 hours for the two months after that. So bedding close to each other made things a lot easier. When Jude wanted to eat, I would just pull him in bed with me and doze while he nursed. We are now to the point where we realized that Jude sleeps better for the first half of the night in his crib. So, after about 8 months of non-use, we are now using the crib! Jude goes to bed for the first half of the night and wakes up around 1 am. I go in to his nursery, where I see him standing up in his crib with his arms outstretched for me. I grab him and take him in to our bed for the other half of the night. We have plans to stop the semi-cosleeping before 18 months. I just really love it. As a working mom, I cherish every second I can spend with him- even if it is sleeping. There really is nothing like a chubby finger stroking my face or a warm little arm encircling my neck in the middle of the night.
Breastfeeding: “Breast is best” is the classic mantra one hears constantly while preparing for baby. With that knowledge, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I figured I would give it my best shot and if it worked out, great! I planned on weaning around six months and then going to formula, thinking it would be much more convenient at that time. I’ll be honest, the first four weeks of breastfeeding were pure hell. We had latch issues you wouldn’t believe. He would get frustrated, I would cry. I would get frustrated, he would cry. My nipples were cracking, splitting, bleeding. Everytime he latched, I felt razor blades. How could something so natural be anything but?? But with the difficulty came a sense of intense determination. We were going to get this and we weren’t going to let each other give up. So I talked to a lactation consultant and went to La Leche League meetings. Then, it clicked. I’ll never forget the nursing session that changed it all. He latched on and started audibly gulping. Wait, I didn’t feel like my nipple was being sawed off! Oh my gosh, did I just feel my milk letting down? Am I experiencing that euphoria that comes with the rush of oxytocin with the letdown? Is that my baby all blissed out and drowsy? Is that actually milk pooling out of his mouth? EUREEKA!!! From then on, I was hooked on nursing. We were a great team and there was NO WAY I was quitting at six months after all this hard work. So we kept plugging away and here we are, almost eleven months later and still going strong. My supply has really plummeted lately, but he’s also nursing less as he takes in more solids. In about six weeks, we’ll start whole milk. I’m sure I’ll be obsessing over this next chapter very soon, so stay tuned. (Oh yeah, the caffeine part ties in here too. Before I was pregnant, I would seriously knock back like 5 diet sodas a day-gross. Once I was pregnant, I would have a Coke or so a day. I pretty much quit caffeine shortly after having Jude since I thought it might have something to do with his sleep issues. Unfortunately, it didn’t help. But I still stopped it. I’m slowly adding a coffee to my diet in the mornings now that Jude isn’t nursing as much. God, that stuff rocks.)
Social calendar: None to speak of. I’ll touch briefly on this, but I feel the need to address it in a post of its own someday soon. I am horrible at balancing “me” time with motherhood. I think if I were a stay at home mom I would be much better about this. Since I work 40+ hours a week, I CRAVE time with my baby. If I have to spend extra time away from him, I am overwhelmed with guilt. Big time. How can I be away from my baby 8 hours a day and then tack on another few hours? This pretty much rules out any dates with my husband. We’ve gone on a couple, but nothing extravagant like spending a whole night away from him. Recently, I’ve gone out with girlfriends for dinner and drinks, but only after Jude goes to bed and I’m home before his first night waking. This is something I need to work on, although I’m not quite sure how I can get over the guilt I carry around with me that daycare spends more time with my son during the week than I do.
So there it is. I’m pretty much a complete oxymoron of the mom I thought I was going to be. The “stroller walking, disposable diaper using, crib sleeping, breastfeeding for up to 6 months at the most, caffeine drinking, still maintaining somewhat of a social calendar, working mama” in my head became the “babywearing, maybe cloth diapering, semi-cosleeping, extended breastfeeding, non-caffeine drinking, no social calendar to speak of working mama” instead.
I suppose there are a few morals to this post I’m probably failing at getting across. The first is that you really can’t plan what kind of mom you’ll be ahead of time. The second time is that it’s never okay to judge someone else’s parenting choices since there are reasons behind those choices that you just can’t know. We all do what is best for our babies since each baby is such a beautiful individual. And that, my friends, is what makes parenthood so truly incredible.
Stroller: I will say we use it now more than we ever have previously. For at least the first 6 months, Jude was one of those babies that didn’t want to be put down. At all. End of the world to be out of my (or anyone’s arms). I’ve heard all my life that carrying a baby around too much will “spoil” him and I guess I believed that. But, once he was here and in my arms, I knew that this couldn’t be true. How can you spoil a child by holding him close to your heart rather than constantly at a distance? Why did holding him feel so much more natural to me than putting him in a stroller or playpen while I went about my business? In my gut, I felt that this wasn’t true in regards to Jude. So I held him. All the time. I invested in wraps and slings to help lessen the load, but for the first 6-8 months, he was attached to me (literally) constantly. And it WORKED! Jude loved being strapped to me or Phil all the time. He was always happy and smiling and content. Whether I was loading the dishwasher, shopping for groceries, or taking a walk around the block, it was good to be Jude. Once Jude learned to crawl a couple of months ago, it felt as though our babywearing chapter started to close just a little bit. I still pop him in a sling when he is having a clingy moment or I just need to carry him somewhere since he can’t walk yet. But with the crawling milestone, it is as if he is happy with a little independence and loves to explore his surroundings while not attached to me (though he prefers to have me within eyesight). So in our experience, babywearing Jude constantly in the beginning helped him to trust that the world was not a scary place as long as he was in mom or dad’s arms. I feel he took that experience and is now anxious to touch and see and hear the happenings going on around him. Maybe the opposite is true for other babies, I guess we’ll find out if/when we have another!
Disposable Diapers: I’ll admit I’m still on the fence about this one. We use gDiapers when not at daycare and Pampers for daycare. Before Jude, I thought cloth diapering meant squares of cloth with big ole diaper pins. Um, no. Cloth diapers now are pretty much the coolest things ever. And what’s cuter than a big fluffy cloth diapered baby butt? Um, nothing! Anyways, since this whole Pampers-causes-chemical-burns-and-rashes-on-babies-investigation, I’m really wondering why the hell I’m not asking more questions as to what is IN disposables? I don’t know, the whole thing makes me nervous. I’ve ordered the cloth diaper trial from Jillian’s Drawers and I’m sure I’ll be posting about our cloth diapering adventures soon! I’m kind of excited!
Cribs: Babies sleep in cribs, right? That’s what they do. There aren’t any other options. At least that’s what I thought before I got pregnant. When we started to get the nursery all set up, I was adamant about getting the perfect crib. And we found it, all right. It was beautiful and everything I imagined. Majestic and dark wood and perfection. So we bought it, took it home, and got it (after much cursing on my husband’s part) set up. That’s when I got uneasy. The nursery is the sitting room off of our master bedroom, and therefore, it was ideal. Jude would be sleeping literally ten feet away from me. I wouldn’t even need a monitor at night since I would hear him cry. As his due date approached, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable with him sleeping in another room, but pushed those thoughts aside. Then, the little mister was here, we brought him home, and it was bedtime. What if he stopped breathing? What if someone broke in his window and we were sleeping so heavily we didn’t even hear and they STOLE him? What if the cat somehow opens his door and decides to sleep right on his face? (Hey, when you’re post-partum and experiencing a severe hormonal fluctuation, ANY scenario you come up with in your head is totally plausible!) So, we set the pack and play up right next to the bed on my side, inches from me. The Mama Bear instincts in me woke up at even the slightest sound or movement he made. Jude was also the baby that was up pretty much every hour for the first four months, then every 2-3 hours for the two months after that. So bedding close to each other made things a lot easier. When Jude wanted to eat, I would just pull him in bed with me and doze while he nursed. We are now to the point where we realized that Jude sleeps better for the first half of the night in his crib. So, after about 8 months of non-use, we are now using the crib! Jude goes to bed for the first half of the night and wakes up around 1 am. I go in to his nursery, where I see him standing up in his crib with his arms outstretched for me. I grab him and take him in to our bed for the other half of the night. We have plans to stop the semi-cosleeping before 18 months. I just really love it. As a working mom, I cherish every second I can spend with him- even if it is sleeping. There really is nothing like a chubby finger stroking my face or a warm little arm encircling my neck in the middle of the night.
Breastfeeding: “Breast is best” is the classic mantra one hears constantly while preparing for baby. With that knowledge, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I figured I would give it my best shot and if it worked out, great! I planned on weaning around six months and then going to formula, thinking it would be much more convenient at that time. I’ll be honest, the first four weeks of breastfeeding were pure hell. We had latch issues you wouldn’t believe. He would get frustrated, I would cry. I would get frustrated, he would cry. My nipples were cracking, splitting, bleeding. Everytime he latched, I felt razor blades. How could something so natural be anything but?? But with the difficulty came a sense of intense determination. We were going to get this and we weren’t going to let each other give up. So I talked to a lactation consultant and went to La Leche League meetings. Then, it clicked. I’ll never forget the nursing session that changed it all. He latched on and started audibly gulping. Wait, I didn’t feel like my nipple was being sawed off! Oh my gosh, did I just feel my milk letting down? Am I experiencing that euphoria that comes with the rush of oxytocin with the letdown? Is that my baby all blissed out and drowsy? Is that actually milk pooling out of his mouth? EUREEKA!!! From then on, I was hooked on nursing. We were a great team and there was NO WAY I was quitting at six months after all this hard work. So we kept plugging away and here we are, almost eleven months later and still going strong. My supply has really plummeted lately, but he’s also nursing less as he takes in more solids. In about six weeks, we’ll start whole milk. I’m sure I’ll be obsessing over this next chapter very soon, so stay tuned. (Oh yeah, the caffeine part ties in here too. Before I was pregnant, I would seriously knock back like 5 diet sodas a day-gross. Once I was pregnant, I would have a Coke or so a day. I pretty much quit caffeine shortly after having Jude since I thought it might have something to do with his sleep issues. Unfortunately, it didn’t help. But I still stopped it. I’m slowly adding a coffee to my diet in the mornings now that Jude isn’t nursing as much. God, that stuff rocks.)
Social calendar: None to speak of. I’ll touch briefly on this, but I feel the need to address it in a post of its own someday soon. I am horrible at balancing “me” time with motherhood. I think if I were a stay at home mom I would be much better about this. Since I work 40+ hours a week, I CRAVE time with my baby. If I have to spend extra time away from him, I am overwhelmed with guilt. Big time. How can I be away from my baby 8 hours a day and then tack on another few hours? This pretty much rules out any dates with my husband. We’ve gone on a couple, but nothing extravagant like spending a whole night away from him. Recently, I’ve gone out with girlfriends for dinner and drinks, but only after Jude goes to bed and I’m home before his first night waking. This is something I need to work on, although I’m not quite sure how I can get over the guilt I carry around with me that daycare spends more time with my son during the week than I do.
So there it is. I’m pretty much a complete oxymoron of the mom I thought I was going to be. The “stroller walking, disposable diaper using, crib sleeping, breastfeeding for up to 6 months at the most, caffeine drinking, still maintaining somewhat of a social calendar, working mama” in my head became the “babywearing, maybe cloth diapering, semi-cosleeping, extended breastfeeding, non-caffeine drinking, no social calendar to speak of working mama” instead.
I suppose there are a few morals to this post I’m probably failing at getting across. The first is that you really can’t plan what kind of mom you’ll be ahead of time. The second time is that it’s never okay to judge someone else’s parenting choices since there are reasons behind those choices that you just can’t know. We all do what is best for our babies since each baby is such a beautiful individual. And that, my friends, is what makes parenthood so truly incredible.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Mama Bear
This week is dragging. I have three projects due in mid-April. Big ones. I’m at the point where I should be completely stressing out, but I’m strangely not. I think motherhood has calmed me down a bit. I’ve taken a more c’est la vie approach to things and I think it’s totally improved my outlook. Before Jude, these projects would’ve completely taken over my brain and life. Now, I’m able to put work and family into the two separate entities they are supposed to be and I think I’m the better for it. Granted, I bolted awake in the middle of the night last night thinking about a portion of a software upgrade that I felt I needed to work on asap. And then I looked over at my son (who was sleeping peacefully in between Phil and me since I didn’t have the energy for sleep battles last night. FAIL.) and stroked his downy, blonde little head and fell back asleep.
That’s not to say that I’m completely zen about everything. Motherhood has also awakened the mama bear that I apparently had sleeping within me. Convictions I never knew I had come out with their teeth bared whenever I feel Jude or any other child for that matter, is being threatened. When I hear stories on the news about poor, defenseless children being neglected or abused, I choke back the intense feeling of wanting to vomit and I just find myself wishing the worst things on the person that did this to them. Then I hug my baby just a little tighter. I can now spot an uneasy situation from miles away and can avoid it quick as lightning, no questions asked. I no longer have qualms about telling people that I still breastfeed and spouting off the million benefits whenever someone challenges me as to why he is still nursing (It’s amazing how I’ll talk about my breasts with anyone these days.) Or when I politely tell certain in-law family members who try to give my kid meat gravy and ice cream that they need to remove their fingers from my kids mouth before I bite them off. People who knew me before I became a mom knew me as the type of person that would totally let things slide unless I felt very strongly about them….then watch out. Now, I’m much more assertive when I initially feel that I need to be, rather than just waiting things out. I love the fierceness just one little angel baby can bring out in a woman.
All in all, Jude is making me a better, stronger person.
That’s not to say that I’m completely zen about everything. Motherhood has also awakened the mama bear that I apparently had sleeping within me. Convictions I never knew I had come out with their teeth bared whenever I feel Jude or any other child for that matter, is being threatened. When I hear stories on the news about poor, defenseless children being neglected or abused, I choke back the intense feeling of wanting to vomit and I just find myself wishing the worst things on the person that did this to them. Then I hug my baby just a little tighter. I can now spot an uneasy situation from miles away and can avoid it quick as lightning, no questions asked. I no longer have qualms about telling people that I still breastfeed and spouting off the million benefits whenever someone challenges me as to why he is still nursing (It’s amazing how I’ll talk about my breasts with anyone these days.) Or when I politely tell certain in-law family members who try to give my kid meat gravy and ice cream that they need to remove their fingers from my kids mouth before I bite them off. People who knew me before I became a mom knew me as the type of person that would totally let things slide unless I felt very strongly about them….then watch out. Now, I’m much more assertive when I initially feel that I need to be, rather than just waiting things out. I love the fierceness just one little angel baby can bring out in a woman.
All in all, Jude is making me a better, stronger person.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Knock On Wood
I really hate to even "say" this out loud, but here goes. Jude has slept through the night TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW. Now, if you follow my blog or facebook, you will know that this is something we've been battling for quite some time. A quick background: Jude has never slept for longer than four hours at a time consistently. Sure, here or there he will go for maybe five hours, but these events are very few and far between. As I've previously stated, when we brought Jude home from the hospital, Phil and I both agreed that we weren't going to let him cry it out. I am not judging anyone who does, but we felt it just wasn't something we were willing to do, for multiple reasons. I naively thought that Jude would definitely wake for the first 3 or 4 months, but he would eventually outgrow it and he would sleep peacefully through the night. Wrong.
Once 8 months rolled around and I realized that Jude wasn't figuring out sleeping through the night on his own, I went to Borders (and didn't have a repeat breastfeeding/poopsplosion incident thankyouverymuch) and grabbed Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution (NCSS). After Googling and reading what Dr. Sears (whose childrearing philosophies I have really gotten on board with) had to say, I decided this option would be the best for us. It basically teaches to attend to the babies needs at night so they do not cry, but slowly wean them off whatever association the baby has with sleep so they can eventually fall asleep without it. Jude had quite the perfect storm of elements needed in order to fall asleep. I realized that I had set Jude up to have sleep issues when all I thought was that these things were in his best interest.
First, Jude wanted to nurse before going to sleep. He would latch on and his eyes would roll into the back of his head in pure bliss. As soon as the sucking stopped, I would lay him down. His eyes would shoot open and he would wail. To replace my boob, I would put a pacifier in his mouth, which would suffice, and his eyes would roll back again. Then, I would place his lovey in his hands and he would roll to his side and fall asleep. Then, I would turn on his mobile that played classical music for twenty minutes and he would be out. This was all well and good except for the fact that once the music shut off or the pacifier would pop out of his mouth or he realized that my boob was nowhere to be found, it was all over. Sometimes this was two hours later, sometimes two minutes. Oy ve.
Long story short, the NCSS did not work for us. We tried diligently for a month. The only thing that improved was that Jude started to sleep a longer stretch in the beginning of the night. He went from waking up within the first hour to sleep for 3-4 hours and then waking up every 1-2 after that.
People with good intentions had all sorts of suggestions for us. "You just need to shut off the baby monitor for a couple of nights so he can cry it out all night", "You need to stop spoiling him so much by carrying him around all day so that at night, he thinks he needs to be held then too", "Stop breastfeeding him and give him formula, you shouldn't breastfeed once they have teeth", "Put some cereal in a bottle and send him to bed with it". Again, not judging what other parents have done because we all make parenting choices that are best for our own family, however, none of the suggestions people had to offer felt 'right' in regards to what would work for Jude. Therefore, I resigned myself to multiple night wakings until toddlerdom.
So this post doesn't turn into a full blown novella, I'm going to try to speed things up. I decided to read Ferber's book, "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". The most I knew about Ferber was that his methods were associated mostly with 'crying it out', but someone told me that if for no other reason, pick up his book to read about all the information he has on infant sleep cycles and sleep associations. So I did.
Upon first picking up the book, I was surprised to see that he runs the Harvard Institue of Pediatric Sleep Disorders. Okay, totally giving this guy a chance, he probably knows a bit about what he is talking about. Holy moly. I was floored reading about all of the cycles babies go through and that night waking is a necessity, ESPECIALLY in the early months since that is a main prevention of SIDS. If a baby is sleeping TOO soundly and in a sleep cycle that is difficult to get out of, they can stop breathing. It was nice to read an affirmation that an early infant sleeping through the night just didn't sound right to me. Maybe Jude was more normal than abnormal. Also, I didn't know that Ferber doesn't call for straight crying it out, but rather letting a child cry in intervals and then going in to check on him so he doesn't believe he was abandoned. Ferber first states that you need to create the child's sleep environment into a sleep association- free environment. The reasoning behind this makes sense: because of the way a baby's sleep cycle is set up, they go through the multiple stages of sleep in shorter intervals than adults and have brief periods of waking. Upon these periods of waking, adults are able to fall right back to sleep if everything is the same as when they fell asleep. But say that you go through the brief wake period and sense that a light is on in the hallway that wasn't on when you fell asleep, you are instantly fully awake and investigate. Same as a baby. If Jude fell asleep with a pacifier in his mouth, with his music on holding his lovey and when he hits his wake cycle with the paci out of his mouth, music off and his lovey nowhere to be found, he is instantly awake because he feels he "needs" all three of these in order to go back to sleep.
Okay. Get rid of sleep assocations. We stopped with the music. I nursed him before story time instead of right before bed. I did lay him down with his lovey, but if he wakes up, he can easily find that so I didn't think that was an issue. I also made sure to leave the room while he was still awake, without rubbing his back or anything since that would also be another sleep assocation. It worked! Well, for a few hours. Basically, Jude would sleep from 7:30ish until about 11, wake up and want to nurse, nurse, nurse until it was time to get up at 5:30.
Cutting to a different topic that I think is the missing piece to the whole sleep mystery. I think I'm starting to develop milk supply issues. While Jude is at daycare every day, I pump 3-4 times a day at work to send breastmilk with him the next day. I've been pretty proud of myself that Jude is almost 9.5 months and I'm still able to give him breastmilk 24/7. (And it saves so much money!) These past few weeks, I've gone from being able to pump about 16-20 oz in a day, and it has tanked to being able to pump 10-12. I've done everything in an attempt to get it back up, I'm an expert. No dice. More to come another time. By the time evening rolls around, I don't produce much since prolactin levels are the lowest in a body at that time. I now believe that at least half of the issue is that Jude is seriously hungry in the middle of the night and since he isn't getting much milk before bed, he wakes up very often to "top himself off".
The last week or so, I've been giving him a 6 oz bottle of milk before bed and then I pump after he goes to bed. This, combined with getting rid of his sleep associations has provided the breakthrough we so desperately needed.
Two days ago, I put little boy to bed at 7:15. He briefly woke at 8, I settled him back down and he didn't wake up until 5:30 am. WHAT?!?! Of course, that didn't mean I got any sleep. I was checking on him hourly convinced that something was horribly wrong.
Last night, he went to bed at 7:30. Woke up briefly at 11:15 and settled himself back down and woke up at 4:30 am and I was able to settle him down again. Not as great as the night before, but a SERIOUS, SERIOUS improvement.
I hope the trend lasts and that I didn't completely ruin things by talking about them. I attribute this success to my education of sleep cycles for babies, getting rid of *most* of Jude's sleep associations, realizing my milk supply is starting to tank and finding alternatives for evening feedings, and the fact that Jude has cut 6 teeth in the two previous months and he is no longer waking up because of teething pain.
If you've made it this far, you're awesome. I mostly just wanted to record our sleep story (so far, as the issue is clearly tumultuous) so I can show Jude someday just how much he put us through when I tell him he can't stay out all night - my sleepless nights thanks to him are in the beginning only.
Once 8 months rolled around and I realized that Jude wasn't figuring out sleeping through the night on his own, I went to Borders (and didn't have a repeat breastfeeding/poopsplosion incident thankyouverymuch) and grabbed Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution (NCSS). After Googling and reading what Dr. Sears (whose childrearing philosophies I have really gotten on board with) had to say, I decided this option would be the best for us. It basically teaches to attend to the babies needs at night so they do not cry, but slowly wean them off whatever association the baby has with sleep so they can eventually fall asleep without it. Jude had quite the perfect storm of elements needed in order to fall asleep. I realized that I had set Jude up to have sleep issues when all I thought was that these things were in his best interest.
First, Jude wanted to nurse before going to sleep. He would latch on and his eyes would roll into the back of his head in pure bliss. As soon as the sucking stopped, I would lay him down. His eyes would shoot open and he would wail. To replace my boob, I would put a pacifier in his mouth, which would suffice, and his eyes would roll back again. Then, I would place his lovey in his hands and he would roll to his side and fall asleep. Then, I would turn on his mobile that played classical music for twenty minutes and he would be out. This was all well and good except for the fact that once the music shut off or the pacifier would pop out of his mouth or he realized that my boob was nowhere to be found, it was all over. Sometimes this was two hours later, sometimes two minutes. Oy ve.
Long story short, the NCSS did not work for us. We tried diligently for a month. The only thing that improved was that Jude started to sleep a longer stretch in the beginning of the night. He went from waking up within the first hour to sleep for 3-4 hours and then waking up every 1-2 after that.
People with good intentions had all sorts of suggestions for us. "You just need to shut off the baby monitor for a couple of nights so he can cry it out all night", "You need to stop spoiling him so much by carrying him around all day so that at night, he thinks he needs to be held then too", "Stop breastfeeding him and give him formula, you shouldn't breastfeed once they have teeth", "Put some cereal in a bottle and send him to bed with it". Again, not judging what other parents have done because we all make parenting choices that are best for our own family, however, none of the suggestions people had to offer felt 'right' in regards to what would work for Jude. Therefore, I resigned myself to multiple night wakings until toddlerdom.
So this post doesn't turn into a full blown novella, I'm going to try to speed things up. I decided to read Ferber's book, "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". The most I knew about Ferber was that his methods were associated mostly with 'crying it out', but someone told me that if for no other reason, pick up his book to read about all the information he has on infant sleep cycles and sleep associations. So I did.
Upon first picking up the book, I was surprised to see that he runs the Harvard Institue of Pediatric Sleep Disorders. Okay, totally giving this guy a chance, he probably knows a bit about what he is talking about. Holy moly. I was floored reading about all of the cycles babies go through and that night waking is a necessity, ESPECIALLY in the early months since that is a main prevention of SIDS. If a baby is sleeping TOO soundly and in a sleep cycle that is difficult to get out of, they can stop breathing. It was nice to read an affirmation that an early infant sleeping through the night just didn't sound right to me. Maybe Jude was more normal than abnormal. Also, I didn't know that Ferber doesn't call for straight crying it out, but rather letting a child cry in intervals and then going in to check on him so he doesn't believe he was abandoned. Ferber first states that you need to create the child's sleep environment into a sleep association- free environment. The reasoning behind this makes sense: because of the way a baby's sleep cycle is set up, they go through the multiple stages of sleep in shorter intervals than adults and have brief periods of waking. Upon these periods of waking, adults are able to fall right back to sleep if everything is the same as when they fell asleep. But say that you go through the brief wake period and sense that a light is on in the hallway that wasn't on when you fell asleep, you are instantly fully awake and investigate. Same as a baby. If Jude fell asleep with a pacifier in his mouth, with his music on holding his lovey and when he hits his wake cycle with the paci out of his mouth, music off and his lovey nowhere to be found, he is instantly awake because he feels he "needs" all three of these in order to go back to sleep.
Okay. Get rid of sleep assocations. We stopped with the music. I nursed him before story time instead of right before bed. I did lay him down with his lovey, but if he wakes up, he can easily find that so I didn't think that was an issue. I also made sure to leave the room while he was still awake, without rubbing his back or anything since that would also be another sleep assocation. It worked! Well, for a few hours. Basically, Jude would sleep from 7:30ish until about 11, wake up and want to nurse, nurse, nurse until it was time to get up at 5:30.
Cutting to a different topic that I think is the missing piece to the whole sleep mystery. I think I'm starting to develop milk supply issues. While Jude is at daycare every day, I pump 3-4 times a day at work to send breastmilk with him the next day. I've been pretty proud of myself that Jude is almost 9.5 months and I'm still able to give him breastmilk 24/7. (And it saves so much money!) These past few weeks, I've gone from being able to pump about 16-20 oz in a day, and it has tanked to being able to pump 10-12. I've done everything in an attempt to get it back up, I'm an expert. No dice. More to come another time. By the time evening rolls around, I don't produce much since prolactin levels are the lowest in a body at that time. I now believe that at least half of the issue is that Jude is seriously hungry in the middle of the night and since he isn't getting much milk before bed, he wakes up very often to "top himself off".
The last week or so, I've been giving him a 6 oz bottle of milk before bed and then I pump after he goes to bed. This, combined with getting rid of his sleep associations has provided the breakthrough we so desperately needed.
Two days ago, I put little boy to bed at 7:15. He briefly woke at 8, I settled him back down and he didn't wake up until 5:30 am. WHAT?!?! Of course, that didn't mean I got any sleep. I was checking on him hourly convinced that something was horribly wrong.
Last night, he went to bed at 7:30. Woke up briefly at 11:15 and settled himself back down and woke up at 4:30 am and I was able to settle him down again. Not as great as the night before, but a SERIOUS, SERIOUS improvement.
I hope the trend lasts and that I didn't completely ruin things by talking about them. I attribute this success to my education of sleep cycles for babies, getting rid of *most* of Jude's sleep associations, realizing my milk supply is starting to tank and finding alternatives for evening feedings, and the fact that Jude has cut 6 teeth in the two previous months and he is no longer waking up because of teething pain.
If you've made it this far, you're awesome. I mostly just wanted to record our sleep story (so far, as the issue is clearly tumultuous) so I can show Jude someday just how much he put us through when I tell him he can't stay out all night - my sleepless nights thanks to him are in the beginning only.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Adventures with nursing in public
Yesterday, we went to go visit some good friends of ours who have an adorable little girl about six weeks older than Jude, Avery. Avery's mom and I grew up together (more to come on that in a later blog) and it's been fun getting the kids together. Anyways, she and I both have plans to breastfeed for a year and were laughing last night at the many mishaps that accompany nursing a baby through their many stages. I thought it would be fun to blog about one incident in particular where, really, what can you do but laugh? Warning: if you aren't prone to a little TMI (too much information), you may want to skip this post and scroll down to older posts or wait for a new entry in a day or so.
Jude was about two months old. I was still on maternity leave and actually enjoyed leaving the house for jaunts during the day- it made me feel human to go out amongst the living and actually shower and put on clothes that didn't consist of unsexy pajama pants and an oversized spit-up stained T-shirt. At 2 months old, Jude and I had pretty much overcome our latch issues and I was somewhat proficient at getting him latched the first try. As long as I had my nursing cover, I was totally okay with nursing in public. I decided to go to Borders. Jude rarely cried and if he started to get fussy, I figured I would just curl up on a loveseat with a book and nurse him. Lo and behold, he started showing signs of hunger so I grabbed a book on cupcake recipes (so I could drool over the photos as sleep deprivation made it difficult to comprehend any reading material any more complicated than ones laden with pictures) and sat on a couch away from everyone. Well, as luck would have it, a lady came and sat right across from me and a few minutes later another man sat cati-corner from me. Jude was so tiny that they didn't even see any sign of a baby underneath my cover. What I neglected to consider was that Jude loved to take a nice, loud poo immediately after or during nursing in the beginning days. Now, if you've ever seen breast-fed baby poop, it really does challenge the laws of physics. And I'm not talking just a quiet poop, but a wall-shaking, earth-shattering, incredibly wet sounding poo. Not only did he let out one explosion, but three. In a row. I really wish I were kidding when I tell you that the sound reverberated all around the 2nd floor of Borders. I'm not sure what was worse, the sound of the 'poopsplosion' (as we lovingly call Jude's early poos) or the even more deafening silence that followed. I could tell that the two people were trying to pretend like they didn't hear it. Then all of a sudden, I had a realization: they didn't know I had a baby under my nursing cover.....and they probably thought it was ME! I was horrified. Then all of a sudden, the man couldn't hold it in and started turning red trying not to laugh. That was it. Jude was still happily slurping away underneath the cover, but I moved part of the cover to reveal his little feet and stated, "That was my baby, it wasn't me. Just in case you thought it was." The two 'spectators' started dying laughing and informed me that yes, they had assumed I was nursing.
It was somewhat of a relief to know that they didn't think I was sharting myself while reading a book on cupcakes.
Jude was about two months old. I was still on maternity leave and actually enjoyed leaving the house for jaunts during the day- it made me feel human to go out amongst the living and actually shower and put on clothes that didn't consist of unsexy pajama pants and an oversized spit-up stained T-shirt. At 2 months old, Jude and I had pretty much overcome our latch issues and I was somewhat proficient at getting him latched the first try. As long as I had my nursing cover, I was totally okay with nursing in public. I decided to go to Borders. Jude rarely cried and if he started to get fussy, I figured I would just curl up on a loveseat with a book and nurse him. Lo and behold, he started showing signs of hunger so I grabbed a book on cupcake recipes (so I could drool over the photos as sleep deprivation made it difficult to comprehend any reading material any more complicated than ones laden with pictures) and sat on a couch away from everyone. Well, as luck would have it, a lady came and sat right across from me and a few minutes later another man sat cati-corner from me. Jude was so tiny that they didn't even see any sign of a baby underneath my cover. What I neglected to consider was that Jude loved to take a nice, loud poo immediately after or during nursing in the beginning days. Now, if you've ever seen breast-fed baby poop, it really does challenge the laws of physics. And I'm not talking just a quiet poop, but a wall-shaking, earth-shattering, incredibly wet sounding poo. Not only did he let out one explosion, but three. In a row. I really wish I were kidding when I tell you that the sound reverberated all around the 2nd floor of Borders. I'm not sure what was worse, the sound of the 'poopsplosion' (as we lovingly call Jude's early poos) or the even more deafening silence that followed. I could tell that the two people were trying to pretend like they didn't hear it. Then all of a sudden, I had a realization: they didn't know I had a baby under my nursing cover.....and they probably thought it was ME! I was horrified. Then all of a sudden, the man couldn't hold it in and started turning red trying not to laugh. That was it. Jude was still happily slurping away underneath the cover, but I moved part of the cover to reveal his little feet and stated, "That was my baby, it wasn't me. Just in case you thought it was." The two 'spectators' started dying laughing and informed me that yes, they had assumed I was nursing.
It was somewhat of a relief to know that they didn't think I was sharting myself while reading a book on cupcakes.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Nostalgic over retired new baby items
Our neighbors recently had a little girl and we went over with a big care package for them of everything we found completely necessary during the first six months. Infant Tylenol, Vick's Baby Rub (um, that stuff smells so good I often smear it on myself. Not kidding), saline drops for stuffy noses (essential for any daycare-going babe, Jude has an eternally dripping nose), Fold & Go diapering kit, big box of Pampers Sensitive wipes (if you're going to do disposable wipes, these are the gentlest, the next little one we have, we will be using cloth wipes I think), a package of baby hair bows (SIGH- love my little boy but hairbows on baby girls are just TO DIE), and Trumpette Mary Jane socks (:::squeal of cuteness:::).
I guess we still use all of that stuff on Jude, but slowly we are putting some new, new baby stuff away.
The Boppy. My breastfeeding companion that saved my arms and sanity during the early days. Jude is so efficient at nursing now that he's done in ten minutes. He can support his own weight so I don't really have to hold him. Since he started sitting unsupported at 5 months, we haven't used it for extra support for him either. Thank you, Boppy, and I commend you for a job well done.
The bouncy seat and the swing. Both retired. I remember reading on the manuals for both of those items that you couldn't use them once baby exceeded 25 pounds. I remember thinking "Oh, well that's awesome, we'll probably be using these for well over a year." Um, Jude was squirming and scheming ways out of them by 6 months and 16 pounds.
The Bumbo chair. He catapulted himself out of this at 5-6 months as well. It served its purpose for a short time I suppose. In retrospect, I think I would've saved the $40 (ridiculous pricetag in my opinion) and skipped it or bought a used one off Craigslist. It's a rubber/plastic chair for God's sake, buy it used and wipe it down with a sani wipe.
My trusty Lansinoh ointment. I couldn't have lived without it in the early days for our awful latch issues. Now that we're such a great breastfeeding team, I never have pain or "injuries" anymore. So I guess the only use I have for my previous favorite baby item is for when Jude's lips get a little chapped from the cold weather.
The Moby. Ahhh, the Moby. The ONLY way Jude would nap during the first three months. We're big fans of babywearing in our house (a long post about this will happen this spring- my favorite babywearing season, I'm sure) and this one was absolutely wonderful for the newborn days. We do still use it occasionally and I'm sure will continue to this summer. The only complaint I have is that for a bigger baby, the material stretches out after wearing him for awhile. I buy this for almost every baby shower. If I am invited to your babyshower and you're reading this, sorry for the spoiler. :)
I guess we still use all of that stuff on Jude, but slowly we are putting some new, new baby stuff away.
The Boppy. My breastfeeding companion that saved my arms and sanity during the early days. Jude is so efficient at nursing now that he's done in ten minutes. He can support his own weight so I don't really have to hold him. Since he started sitting unsupported at 5 months, we haven't used it for extra support for him either. Thank you, Boppy, and I commend you for a job well done.
The Bumbo chair. He catapulted himself out of this at 5-6 months as well. It served its purpose for a short time I suppose. In retrospect, I think I would've saved the $40 (ridiculous pricetag in my opinion) and skipped it or bought a used one off Craigslist. It's a rubber/plastic chair for God's sake, buy it used and wipe it down with a sani wipe.
My trusty Lansinoh ointment. I couldn't have lived without it in the early days for our awful latch issues. Now that we're such a great breastfeeding team, I never have pain or "injuries" anymore. So I guess the only use I have for my previous favorite baby item is for when Jude's lips get a little chapped from the cold weather.
The Moby. Ahhh, the Moby. The ONLY way Jude would nap during the first three months. We're big fans of babywearing in our house (a long post about this will happen this spring- my favorite babywearing season, I'm sure) and this one was absolutely wonderful for the newborn days. We do still use it occasionally and I'm sure will continue to this summer. The only complaint I have is that for a bigger baby, the material stretches out after wearing him for awhile. I buy this for almost every baby shower. If I am invited to your babyshower and you're reading this, sorry for the spoiler. :)Actually, I think I need to do a few "my favorite/unfavorite things" post. More to come!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
My son doesn't sleep.
Jude has sleep issues. Big time.
I've avoided doing any sort of sleep training this entire time for a few reasons. For starters, I never believed that they were necessary. To me, sleep training has always implied that this is purely for tired parents' sake and not in the child's best interest. I'm now retracting my former thoughts on this. Sure, I'd love a full nights sleep. But to be honest, I'm so used to 6-7 night wakings (you read that right- and this is on a good night) that they don't bother me much anymore. I guess my mommy adrenaline isn't 100% depleted. I'm honestly worried about Jude. It seems like he always has bags under his eyes and is so cranky at the end of the day, that he just isn't himself.
First, a background.
In the very beginning, we started off with Jude in a bassinet next to our bed. When he would wake, I would nurse him or change his diaper or attend to whatever need he had. During the first four months or so, I never gave his multiple, often hourly, night wakings a second thought since that is what newborns do. Once Jude outgrew the bassinet next to the bed, we decided we wanted to cosleep and have a family bed until he was a year. I'm a fan of Dr. Sear's Attachment Parenting principles and thought this was ideal for us. Being as I'm a fulltime working mom, I love that I can spend all my time with Jude when I'm not working by sleeping next to him. The night wakings continued. From four months on, all Jude really wanted when he woke up was to nurse himself back to sleep. That's fine. Bedsharing makes this very easy to do. Once six months rolled around and he was still waking up about ten times a night, I decided that we would try Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. I was not willing to let my son Cry It Out, but this seemed like an answer I could definitely go with. It was all about weaning a baby off the suck to sleep association, which Jude clearly has. After a few weeks of doing this, the only improvement I've seen is that he doesn't fight initially going to sleep like he used to and will actually sleep for a three hour stretch in the beginning. It was also around this time that we put Jude to sleep in his crib initially and then upon the first night waking after we go to bed, we bring him into bed with us.
Now we are at the present. Jude is 8.5 months and he has now decided that naps aren't for him. Daycare is lucky to get two twenty minute naps out of him. He comes home cranky, tired, rubbing his eyes, and ready for bed at 6 pm. I know this is all because Jude cannot self soothe when he wakes up for whatever reason. The littlest noise in the world will startle him awake and he cannot get himself back to sleep without a breast or a pacifier. I'm at my wits end. I've heard things about Ferber and really mostly associated his methods with crying it out. Someone who practices Attachment Parenting told me to pick up his book because it has really great information on baby sleep cycles and sleep in general and I can put other bits of his philosophy into action without resorting to cry it out. So, this is where we are at. Updates to follow. If anyone has any advice, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE comments.
This parenting stuff sure is hard.
I've avoided doing any sort of sleep training this entire time for a few reasons. For starters, I never believed that they were necessary. To me, sleep training has always implied that this is purely for tired parents' sake and not in the child's best interest. I'm now retracting my former thoughts on this. Sure, I'd love a full nights sleep. But to be honest, I'm so used to 6-7 night wakings (you read that right- and this is on a good night) that they don't bother me much anymore. I guess my mommy adrenaline isn't 100% depleted. I'm honestly worried about Jude. It seems like he always has bags under his eyes and is so cranky at the end of the day, that he just isn't himself.
First, a background.
In the very beginning, we started off with Jude in a bassinet next to our bed. When he would wake, I would nurse him or change his diaper or attend to whatever need he had. During the first four months or so, I never gave his multiple, often hourly, night wakings a second thought since that is what newborns do. Once Jude outgrew the bassinet next to the bed, we decided we wanted to cosleep and have a family bed until he was a year. I'm a fan of Dr. Sear's Attachment Parenting principles and thought this was ideal for us. Being as I'm a fulltime working mom, I love that I can spend all my time with Jude when I'm not working by sleeping next to him. The night wakings continued. From four months on, all Jude really wanted when he woke up was to nurse himself back to sleep. That's fine. Bedsharing makes this very easy to do. Once six months rolled around and he was still waking up about ten times a night, I decided that we would try Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. I was not willing to let my son Cry It Out, but this seemed like an answer I could definitely go with. It was all about weaning a baby off the suck to sleep association, which Jude clearly has. After a few weeks of doing this, the only improvement I've seen is that he doesn't fight initially going to sleep like he used to and will actually sleep for a three hour stretch in the beginning. It was also around this time that we put Jude to sleep in his crib initially and then upon the first night waking after we go to bed, we bring him into bed with us.
Now we are at the present. Jude is 8.5 months and he has now decided that naps aren't for him. Daycare is lucky to get two twenty minute naps out of him. He comes home cranky, tired, rubbing his eyes, and ready for bed at 6 pm. I know this is all because Jude cannot self soothe when he wakes up for whatever reason. The littlest noise in the world will startle him awake and he cannot get himself back to sleep without a breast or a pacifier. I'm at my wits end. I've heard things about Ferber and really mostly associated his methods with crying it out. Someone who practices Attachment Parenting told me to pick up his book because it has really great information on baby sleep cycles and sleep in general and I can put other bits of his philosophy into action without resorting to cry it out. So, this is where we are at. Updates to follow. If anyone has any advice, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE comments.
This parenting stuff sure is hard.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
28
It's my birthday today and I'm a mommy. It's pretty crazy to look back on everything that happened in one year. Even though this day will probably be the most lowkey birthday I've ever had, it will most definitely be the most profound. I look at my little Judebug and wonder how I got so blessed. He is truly my everything.
No major plans for today. Phil and I are going to go grab dinner at a deelish Mexican restaurant and my parents will watch Jude for the evening. I sure miss being away from him, I'm so attached! It's hard working full time during the week that I feel absolutely guilty when I go on a date or have to be away from him for any period of time on the weekends. This is why I feel practicing the B's of Attachment Parenting works so well for a family whose parents both work fulltime. We are able to bond every second we are together, and that means the world to us.
In an attempt to lose all my extra baby weight that I am STILL carrying around, I am starting P90X on Monday. I know a few people who are dedicated to it and they are seriously RIPPED. So, after Jude goes to bed every evening, I will be dedicating an hour a day to this regime. I used to dance 8 hours a day, 6 days a week for years, so I'm not worried about the physical demands or the dedication that is required of me. The only worry I have is if it will have any impact on my milk supply. I always hear of people warning about starting up a fitness routine causing their milk supply to tank. I've been looking into this alot over the past few weeks and it seems like the warnings are more towards newer breastfeeding moms whose supply hasn't been established yet. On kellymom.com, she mentions some studies that point to milk supply increasing with more physical activity. Also, breastfeeding immediately after cardio could cause a fussy reacion in the baby due to lactic acid buildup in the breastmilk, but this should subside in about an hour post- working out. I'm already taking fenugreek, blessed thistle, eating oatmeal and drinking tons of water to keep my milk supply going strong at 8 months. I want Jude to have nothing but breastmilk (and solids) until one year. I didn't realize how important it was to me until my supply started to tank around 6 months. I've been doing everything possible to keep up with his demands in regards to my pumping output and so far, things have worked.
I will report on my P90X progress in this blog. I will also be posting before pics soon. Ouch.
No major plans for today. Phil and I are going to go grab dinner at a deelish Mexican restaurant and my parents will watch Jude for the evening. I sure miss being away from him, I'm so attached! It's hard working full time during the week that I feel absolutely guilty when I go on a date or have to be away from him for any period of time on the weekends. This is why I feel practicing the B's of Attachment Parenting works so well for a family whose parents both work fulltime. We are able to bond every second we are together, and that means the world to us.
In an attempt to lose all my extra baby weight that I am STILL carrying around, I am starting P90X on Monday. I know a few people who are dedicated to it and they are seriously RIPPED. So, after Jude goes to bed every evening, I will be dedicating an hour a day to this regime. I used to dance 8 hours a day, 6 days a week for years, so I'm not worried about the physical demands or the dedication that is required of me. The only worry I have is if it will have any impact on my milk supply. I always hear of people warning about starting up a fitness routine causing their milk supply to tank. I've been looking into this alot over the past few weeks and it seems like the warnings are more towards newer breastfeeding moms whose supply hasn't been established yet. On kellymom.com, she mentions some studies that point to milk supply increasing with more physical activity. Also, breastfeeding immediately after cardio could cause a fussy reacion in the baby due to lactic acid buildup in the breastmilk, but this should subside in about an hour post- working out. I'm already taking fenugreek, blessed thistle, eating oatmeal and drinking tons of water to keep my milk supply going strong at 8 months. I want Jude to have nothing but breastmilk (and solids) until one year. I didn't realize how important it was to me until my supply started to tank around 6 months. I've been doing everything possible to keep up with his demands in regards to my pumping output and so far, things have worked.
I will report on my P90X progress in this blog. I will also be posting before pics soon. Ouch.
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