What kind of mom are you?

I was thinking the other day about all the planning that goes on once you find out you are having a baby. If you had asked me to describe the sort of mother I planned on being before Jude got here, the following description would probably sum it up best: Stroller walking, disposable diaper using, crib sleeping, breastfeeding for up to 6 months at the most, caffeine drinking, still maintaining somewhat of a social calendar, working mama. It wasn't a conscious thing, I didn't research anything, yet, I think I'm the complete opposite of all of that and it all just happened naturally.



Stroller: I will say we use it now more than we ever have previously. For at least the first 6 months, Jude was one of those babies that didn’t want to be put down. At all. End of the world to be out of my (or anyone’s arms). I’ve heard all my life that carrying a baby around too much will “spoil” him and I guess I believed that. But, once he was here and in my arms, I knew that this couldn’t be true. How can you spoil a child by holding him close to your heart rather than constantly at a distance? Why did holding him feel so much more natural to me than putting him in a stroller or playpen while I went about my business? In my gut, I felt that this wasn’t true in regards to Jude. So I held him. All the time. I invested in wraps and slings to help lessen the load, but for the first 6-8 months, he was attached to me (literally) constantly. And it WORKED! Jude loved being strapped to me or Phil all the time. He was always happy and smiling and content. Whether I was loading the dishwasher, shopping for groceries, or taking a walk around the block, it was good to be Jude. Once Jude learned to crawl a couple of months ago, it felt as though our babywearing chapter started to close just a little bit. I still pop him in a sling when he is having a clingy moment or I just need to carry him somewhere since he can’t walk yet. But with the crawling milestone, it is as if he is happy with a little independence and loves to explore his surroundings while not attached to me (though he prefers to have me within eyesight). So in our experience, babywearing Jude constantly in the beginning helped him to trust that the world was not a scary place as long as he was in mom or dad’s arms. I feel he took that experience and is now anxious to touch and see and hear the happenings going on around him. Maybe the opposite is true for other babies, I guess we’ll find out if/when we have another!


Disposable Diapers: I’ll admit I’m still on the fence about this one. We use gDiapers when not at daycare and Pampers for daycare. Before Jude, I thought cloth diapering meant squares of cloth with big ole diaper pins. Um, no. Cloth diapers now are pretty much the coolest things ever. And what’s cuter than a big fluffy cloth diapered baby butt? Um, nothing! Anyways, since this whole Pampers-causes-chemical-burns-and-rashes-on-babies-investigation, I’m really wondering why the hell I’m not asking more questions as to what is IN disposables? I don’t know, the whole thing makes me nervous. I’ve ordered the cloth diaper trial from Jillian’s Drawers and I’m sure I’ll be posting about our cloth diapering adventures soon! I’m kind of excited!


Cribs: Babies sleep in cribs, right? That’s what they do. There aren’t any other options. At least that’s what I thought before I got pregnant. When we started to get the nursery all set up, I was adamant about getting the perfect crib. And we found it, all right. It was beautiful and everything I imagined. Majestic and dark wood and perfection. So we bought it, took it home, and got it (after much cursing on my husband’s part) set up. That’s when I got uneasy. The nursery is the sitting room off of our master bedroom, and therefore, it was ideal. Jude would be sleeping literally ten feet away from me. I wouldn’t even need a monitor at night since I would hear him cry. As his due date approached, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable with him sleeping in another room, but pushed those thoughts aside. Then, the little mister was here, we brought him home, and it was bedtime. What if he stopped breathing? What if someone broke in his window and we were sleeping so heavily we didn’t even hear and they STOLE him? What if the cat somehow opens his door and decides to sleep right on his face? (Hey, when you’re post-partum and experiencing a severe hormonal fluctuation, ANY scenario you come up with in your head is totally plausible!) So, we set the pack and play up right next to the bed on my side, inches from me. The Mama Bear instincts in me woke up at even the slightest sound or movement he made. Jude was also the baby that was up pretty much every hour for the first four months, then every 2-3 hours for the two months after that. So bedding close to each other made things a lot easier. When Jude wanted to eat, I would just pull him in bed with me and doze while he nursed. We are now to the point where we realized that Jude sleeps better for the first half of the night in his crib. So, after about 8 months of non-use, we are now using the crib! Jude goes to bed for the first half of the night and wakes up around 1 am. I go in to his nursery, where I see him standing up in his crib with his arms outstretched for me. I grab him and take him in to our bed for the other half of the night. We have plans to stop the semi-cosleeping before 18 months. I just really love it. As a working mom, I cherish every second I can spend with him- even if it is sleeping. There really is nothing like a chubby finger stroking my face or a warm little arm encircling my neck in the middle of the night.


Breastfeeding: “Breast is best” is the classic mantra one hears constantly while preparing for baby. With that knowledge, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I figured I would give it my best shot and if it worked out, great! I planned on weaning around six months and then going to formula, thinking it would be much more convenient at that time. I’ll be honest, the first four weeks of breastfeeding were pure hell. We had latch issues you wouldn’t believe. He would get frustrated, I would cry. I would get frustrated, he would cry. My nipples were cracking, splitting, bleeding. Everytime he latched, I felt razor blades. How could something so natural be anything but?? But with the difficulty came a sense of intense determination. We were going to get this and we weren’t going to let each other give up. So I talked to a lactation consultant and went to La Leche League meetings. Then, it clicked. I’ll never forget the nursing session that changed it all. He latched on and started audibly gulping. Wait, I didn’t feel like my nipple was being sawed off! Oh my gosh, did I just feel my milk letting down? Am I experiencing that euphoria that comes with the rush of oxytocin with the letdown? Is that my baby all blissed out and drowsy? Is that actually milk pooling out of his mouth? EUREEKA!!! From then on, I was hooked on nursing. We were a great team and there was NO WAY I was quitting at six months after all this hard work. So we kept plugging away and here we are, almost eleven months later and still going strong. My supply has really plummeted lately, but he’s also nursing less as he takes in more solids. In about six weeks, we’ll start whole milk. I’m sure I’ll be obsessing over this next chapter very soon, so stay tuned.  (Oh yeah, the caffeine part ties in here too. Before I was pregnant, I would seriously knock back like 5 diet sodas a day-gross. Once I was pregnant, I would have a Coke or so a day. I pretty much quit caffeine shortly after having Jude since I thought it might have something to do with his sleep issues. Unfortunately, it didn’t help. But I still stopped it. I’m slowly adding a coffee to my diet in the mornings now that Jude isn’t nursing as much. God, that stuff rocks.)


Social calendar: None to speak of. I’ll touch briefly on this, but I feel the need to address it in a post of its own someday soon. I am horrible at balancing “me” time with motherhood. I think if I were a stay at home mom I would be much better about this. Since I work 40+ hours a week, I CRAVE time with my baby. If I have to spend extra time away from him, I am overwhelmed with guilt. Big time. How can I be away from my baby 8 hours a day and then tack on another few hours? This pretty much rules out any dates with my husband. We’ve gone on a couple, but nothing extravagant like spending a whole night away from him. Recently, I’ve gone out with girlfriends for dinner and drinks, but only after Jude goes to bed and I’m home before his first night waking. This is something I need to work on, although I’m not quite sure how I can get over the guilt I carry around with me that daycare spends more time with my son during the week than I do.


So there it is. I’m pretty much a complete oxymoron of the mom I thought I was going to be. The “stroller walking, disposable diaper using, crib sleeping, breastfeeding for up to 6 months at the most, caffeine drinking, still maintaining somewhat of a social calendar, working mama” in my head became the “babywearing, maybe cloth diapering, semi-cosleeping, extended breastfeeding, non-caffeine drinking, no social calendar to speak of working mama” instead.


I suppose there are a few morals to this post I’m probably failing at getting across. The first is that you really can’t plan what kind of mom you’ll be ahead of time. The second time is that it’s never okay to judge someone else’s parenting choices since there are reasons behind those choices that you just can’t know. We all do what is best for our babies since each baby is such a beautiful individual. And that, my friends, is what makes parenthood so truly incredible.

Happy Earth Day!

I love this day, I really do.  It's usually nice out and the world smells of rain and renewal.  I remember as a kid, we would always plant a tree or some flowers or something to commemorate.  While I thought about doing some planting today, I opted not, seeing as the weather in Nebraska this time of year is insane and I really just don't feel comfortable doing any planting before Mother's Day.  I've been burned too many times thinking there was no way a frost would fall.

My two favorite boys and I ran our Saturday morning errand to Babies R Us for some organic baby food (yay sale!) and then to Once Upon A Child for some gently used toys and clothes.  I adore that place.  We got Jude three pairs of Gap pants, a pair of Nautica overalls, a ball popper toy that he fell in love with at his friend Avery's house, a crib toy that plays music and nature sounds, and some baby window shades for the car for $45 total.  You can't beat that.  And I felt somewhat Earth friendly given the holiday and buying used.

Jude checking out the new toy. 

There's that camera again.

Wait, the balls come out of this thing?!?

I'll just take them over here.

And chew on them.

Well, I thought $6.50 was a good deal on this toy, but apparently I just got overpriced toy balls for Jude to chew on instead.

And to think, we actually were considering spending $40 on this crib toy, when we found a used one for $10!

Baby cold/ear infection = penguin humidifier is having to work some overtime in the nursery.

And apparently, this is waaaay cooler than a toy that tosses balls in the air and makes them speed down ramps.

Score on organic baby food today.  That's right, I don't make my own....I had every intention...no freezer space because it's full of breastmilk...don't judge me...another post to come on that hairy subject.

Kickin' it with the hubs on the back patio after the Judester went to bed.

A Lucky Bucket lager for him.  A glass of Relax Riesling for me.

Mason performing his whirling dervish on a spring night.

Leif panting per usual in the cool grass.  He spent the day at the groomer losing 20 pounds of hair.  Handsome boy, huh?

Baby monitor is blessedly silent.  For now.

Yes, please take my picture.  Sans makeup.  After a night of Jude wakings.  In bad light.  And make me promise to put it on my blog if I am putting one of you on there. Thanks.

The tree in the backyard that blooms once a year for about five minutes.

Okay, I didn't take this photo.  The hubs did, that's why it rocks.  Showoff.

Petri Dishes for Playmates

Jude has another nasty cold.

I thought we were maybe getting done with all this sickness.  I truly believed that his constant colds/illnesses were a combination of being so young, during the worst winter I can remember, combined with the fact that he goes to a daycare center and is around so many other young kids (or Petri dishes, as I prefer to call them).  The weather has just started to get warm and a sense of relief has come about that cold and flu season is nearing its end.

No such luck.

The first telltale sign that Jude is coming down with a nasty cold is eye drainage.  Ew.  It gets all green and gunky and seals his eye shut overnight.  Poor guy.  I have some drops that clear it up, but it's always the first sign that things are going south.  Congestion sets in.  Then the coughing.  Then the all night wakings.  At that point, our world becomes a sea of saline drops, nasal aspirators, cool mist humidifiers, and Boogie Wipes.
Our pediatrician has repeated over and over that the typical newborn/baby gets about 12 colds a year.  It seems like Jude constantly has one.  Hell, he was hospitalized for RSV for five days back in February.  I can't help but get sort of panic-y when he gets sick now.  Although the RSV virus was special, he ran a 102-103 degree fever the entire time and that was his first symptom before anything else.  He isn't running a fever this time.  Thank goodness.

I just hate when Jude is perfectly healthy and I go to pick him up from daycare and he is happily playing with a friend.  Then, the friend turns around to grin at me and all I can see is the river of snot pouring out of his nose and I know that Jude will have a cold in about 48 hours.  Ugh.

I guess it's the expected repurcussions in the glamourous life of a working mom who sends her kid to daycare.

Nostalgic over retired new baby items

Our neighbors recently had a little girl and we went over with a big care package for them of everything we found completely necessary during the first six months.  Infant Tylenol, Vick's Baby Rub (um, that stuff smells so good I often smear it on myself.  Not kidding), saline drops for stuffy noses (essential for any daycare-going babe, Jude has an eternally dripping nose), Fold & Go diapering kit, big box of Pampers Sensitive wipes (if you're going to do disposable wipes, these are the gentlest, the next little one we have, we will be using cloth wipes I think), a package of baby hair bows (SIGH- love my little boy but hairbows on  baby girls are just TO DIE), and Trumpette Mary Jane socks (:::squeal of cuteness:::). 

I guess we still use all of that stuff on Jude, but slowly we are putting some new, new baby stuff away.

The Boppy.  My breastfeeding companion that saved my arms and sanity during the early days.  Jude is so efficient at nursing now that he's done in ten minutes.  He can support his own weight so I don't really have to hold him.  Since he started sitting unsupported at 5 months, we haven't used it for extra support for him either.  Thank you, Boppy, and I commend you for a job well done. 

The bouncy seat and the swing. Both retired.  I remember reading on the manuals for both of those items that you couldn't use them once baby exceeded 25 pounds.  I remember thinking "Oh, well that's awesome, we'll probably be using these for well over a year."  Um, Jude was squirming and scheming ways out of them by 6 months and 16 pounds. 

The Bumbo chair.  He catapulted himself out of this at 5-6 months as well.  It served its purpose for a short time I suppose.  In retrospect, I think I would've saved the $40 (ridiculous pricetag in my opinion) and skipped it or bought a used one off Craigslist.  It's a rubber/plastic chair for God's sake, buy it used and wipe it down with a sani wipe.

My trusty Lansinoh ointment.  I couldn't have lived without it in the early days for our awful latch issues.  Now that we're such a great breastfeeding team, I never have pain or "injuries" anymore.  So I guess the only use I have for my previous favorite baby item is for when Jude's lips get a little chapped from the cold weather. 

The Moby.  Ahhh, the Moby.  The ONLY way Jude would nap during the first three months.  We're big fans of babywearing in our house  (a long post about this will happen this spring- my favorite babywearing season, I'm sure) and this one was absolutely wonderful for the newborn days.  We do still use it occasionally and I'm sure will continue to this summer.  The only complaint I have is that for a bigger baby, the material stretches out after wearing him for awhile.  I buy this for almost every baby shower.  If I am invited to your babyshower and you're reading this, sorry for the spoiler.  :)

Actually, I think I need to do a few "my favorite/unfavorite things" post.  More to come!