Twas the night before Christmas...

It's Christmas Eve and the child and husband are all tucked snug in their beds... while I wait downstairs for Santa to come.  For some reason, I want this Christmas to be perfect for Jude.  I know that he won't remember much, if any, of it and the little details that I'm fretting about will go completely unnoticed, but here I am regardless, wishing I had spent more time making things perfect for Christmas morning.  It seems ridiculous, especially since I'm not a type A personality at all.  There very well may be a million things I'm doing wrong in regards to raising my son, but I at least want him to always feel that I made his Christmases special.  And what I've always found so special and wonderful about Christmas isn't the presents at all.  It's snuggling up on the couch Christmas morning with hot chocolate in warm jammies while It's A Wonderful Life is on the TV in the background.  It's the electricity of the anticipation of the holiday in the air wherever you go.  It's the time to cherish not everything you have, but everyone you have.  As a child, Christmas was always so magical for me and I want Jude to have the same wonder and awe of the season as I did and still do- even if I view things differently as an adult. 

Our little Christmas.  It isn't fancy or grand, but it's ours.

The tree...

Our first ornament after we got married... 

Santa is always watching....

Jude's art project at school gets prominently displayed...

Cookies and milk are out....

Now, we just wait for Santa....

18 months

I'm absolutely floored that I am the mother of an 18 month old.  1.5 year old.  Toddler.  Quoi?

I think I've done a pretty good job of cherishing every moment with him.  It's part of the reason why I've been so absent from my blog lately as every spare second I have, I'm building blocks, being a horsey for the millionth time or getting tackled.  And I love it.

Things Jude loves at 18 months:
Blocks.
Pushing buttons- any button.
Sweeping.
Sorting all of the canned foods in the pantry.
Brushing his teeth.
Crackers.  I can't even describe to you how adorable it is when he says the word "Cwak-ah".
Going to the zoo- specifically the aquariam and the gorilla house.
Wrestling.
Identifying photos in his books.
Going into the bathroom to help by handing out rolls and rolls of toilet paper, trying to flush repeatedly, and insisting on washing his hands with you.
Giving kisses- his favorite thing is to have mommy and daddy sit on opposite sides of the room and run back and forth, back and forth, back and forth planting a big wet kiss on our mouths each trip.  ::melt:: 
Snuggling in bed between mommy and daddy.
Dancing.
Yo Gabba Gabba- we don't let him watch TV much yet, but for some reason he absolutely loses it if he sees a YGG character in a photo or on the television.
Books- the kid would look at books all day long if he could.
Buckling his highchair straps back together after he's done sitting in it.

Things Jude hates at 18 months:
Santa.
Diaper changes (still).
Going into his carseat.  (We are still rear-facing for a few reasons, so I'm sure that's part of it)
Going inside after playing outside.
When the dogs get in his way.
When I won't give him a snack whenever he points to the top of the fridge.
Toys that move or sing or dance- not a fan at all.
If he feels like he's being treated like a baby- i.e. don't cut the corn off his cob if everyone else is eating it on the cob.

Favorite books:
Mars Needs Moms
Corduroy
The Very Hungry Caterpillar
Tykosaurs (This really weird book with photos of babies in dinosaur costumes that we picked up at a garage sale for 25 cents.  He's obsessed with it.  We have to read it over and over and over.  I hide it sometimes, so sue me.)
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish
Rumble In The Jungle
Llama Llama series

Favorite foods:
Crackers
Carrots
Sweet Potatoes
Chicken :(
Fish
Green Beans
Cheese
Broccoli
Cheerios with milk
Peas
Bananas
Cheerios
Tofu
Spaghetti

A three month recap in photos

Renewed

Tons of posts and a blog makeover this week.  Stay tuned!

Love you all!

Slow down, little man.

I came across this the other day and decided to post it here so I can look back on it when life starts to get crazy, as it always does.  I worry too much about things like career, money and other "important" things that you really can't take with you.  I need to make this blog more of a priority as my hope is that one day, when I'm gone, Jude will be able to pull this up and read and still feel my love for him emanating from these simple words.  I need to learn to stop and give my husband one extra kiss or lingering touch every day and resist the urge to check my work email on my phone in the evenings while Jude hands me cloth diaper after cloth diaper that he pulls out of his drawer.  "Thank you, Jude, " I smile.  "Yup.  Yup mama." he says as he reaches for another, bursting with pride and confidence at what a good helper his mother thinks he is. 

"Long ago you came to me,
a miracle of firsts;
First smiles and teeth and baby steps,
a sunbeam on the burst.

But one day you will move away
and leave me to your past.
And I will be left thinking of
of a lifetime of your lasts..."

"The last time when you ran to me,
still small enough to hold.
The last time when you said you'd marry
me when you got old.

Precious, simple moments and
bright flashes from your past-
Would I have held on longer if
I'd have known they were your last?"

You're dealing with teething HOW?? With WHAT??

Jude is what I like to call a "violent teether".  Most babies teeth gradually, sprouting one and then another right behind it or even two at the same time, then they get a bit of a reprieve before cutting another couple of teeth and so on.  But, since this is Jude we're talking about, we all know that he is anything but textbook (and I'm okay with that!).  Jude first cut his two bottom teeth simultaneously around five months.  No sooner had the bottom two broke through the surface that his top FOUR- yes FOUR- main teeth came crashing through the gums.  Oh my goodness, even looking at the huge white bulges in his mouth before they cut through the skin made me cringe.  He is now only missing four teeth out of his mouth.  That's it.  The kid even has his molars already.  Anyways, whatever is painful for Jude is in turn painful for us.  I actually think I can safely blame our 10 months of extreme night waking/night nursing/napping/okay, just general sleep issues partly on teething.  Hell, when I was dancing 8 hours a day and 7 days a week, I woke up hourly too since dancers really feel the pain when their bodies start to unwind at night. 
How did I counteract the pain of Jude's teething?  Well, there's the usual quick fix in Tylenol (it's crap, by the way) and Infant Motrin.  Infant Motrin does work wonders.  However, I think it's been safely established in this blog that I'm a total hippy when it comes to things like this so I felt there had to be something a little more natural out there to help (and something that also doesn't wreak havoc on your liver and kidneys when given chronically or in high doses).  I looked into and used Hyland's Teething Tablets.  They work incredibly well.  However- one of the ingredients in them is Belladonna, which in high amounts is toxic to humans.  Now, in teething tablets it's in fractions of fractions of fractions of traces of amounts so that part actually didn't concern me.  What concerns me is that with all homeopathic products, it is not regulated by the FDA, therefore, what if for some reason, one bottle didn't have the correct concentration or what if the stuff, even in the tiniest of amounts truly isn't safe?  I did use it and have positive things to say about teething tablets, but I still felt there was SOMETHING better out there.

Cold teethers?  Sure, I bet they work.  Jude looked at me like I was insane when I tried to encourage him to bite on them and then proceeded to chuck them on the floor.  Good idea in theory, not so good in reality.  He relieved quite a bit of pain by gnawing on his crib when he would go in there while we were getting ready for work in the mornings and also the occasional bite he would take out of my shoulder.  Frozen fruit in mesh feeders was another outstanding idea.....for someone else's kid.  Jude acted like I was trying to poison him when trying to get him to suck on one of those.

Okay, so long story short:  Modern day pain reliever meds- used when it got really, really bad, like the couple days before the awful, swollen bulge became a little white line on the surface.  Homeopathic teething tablets- worked amazingly well, but only in short increments of time and I had concerns on the whole FDA bit of it (PS- why doesn't the FDA monitor herbs and such.  After all, they are powerful medicines.  I digress)  Teethers or cold of any kind- no dice.

Then, I hear about a little resin called amber.  More accurately, I started to educate myself on traditional beaded amber necklaces imported from the Baltic region that are a non-invasive and side-effect free remedy for the pain and complications of teething, such as lack of appetite, upset tummies, earache, fevers and colds.  This is information I got from Ghaia Herbs website, but it correlates with all other sources I've read on amber. 

Currently, there are two different theories that attempt to explain how wearing amber on the skin can have a soothing and calming effect on teething babies and toddlers.  One theory suggests that when amber is worn on the skin, the skin's warmth releases miniscule amounts of healing oils from the amber which are then absorbed via the skin into the bloodstream. Amber's anti-inflammatory and therapeutic properties are also recognized by allopathic medicine. In Austria, Switzerland and Germany, you will find amber teething necklaces sold in local pharmacies. Pharmacists and doctors have long known about the healing properties of amber which include calmative, analgesic, antispasmodic, expectorant, and febrifuge (anti-fever) functions.   A second theory is based on scientific findings which have shown that amber is electromagnetically alive and therefore charged with a significant amount of organic energy. Its special attribute is the fact that it is electronegative. Wearing amber produces negative ionisation on the skin's surface. This, in turn, has a positive influence on the human body. The negative ions assist in the in the prevention of illness. These health-promoting effects apply to babies, children and adults alike.  It is possible that the soothing and calming effect of amber teething necklaces, which has been empirically observed, is based on a combination of the factors listed above.

Total hippy crap, right?

I sort of thought that too.  But then I remember that I do have some major hippy tendancies, and those hippy tendencies told me to trust my gut and give up all of the modern medicine fertility treatments and rely on homeopathic remedies and acupuncture and four months later my body actually worked correctly, and Jude was created.  So, I bought a necklace since Jude is working on his upper and lower fangs or eyeteeth or whatever they are called and they seem to be a bit brutal.

Um, it works.  Like, it works REALLY well.  Sure, he's fussy and will occasionally stuff his fist in his mouth and howl for a few seconds, but overall, he just doesn't seem to be in pain like he was last week before we tried this.   

I believe in it.  I believe in a world where modern medicine and homeopathic medicine can coexist and break down the walls surrounding supposed mysteries in science.  It helped me with Jude and it's helping Jude with his teeth and I'm curious to see how much more I can explore and utilize these types of things for my family in the future.  I know enough that I'm not just going to read the back of a bottle of herbs and blindly start taking them to treat something.  Every decision I've made has been thoroughly researched (come on, you all know me, I research things to death before taking a plunge) and I've talked to professionals.  Herbs are just as powerful, if not moreso, than drugs on the market.  And since they aren't FDA approved, there just isn't the hours of research associated with these medicines that I think there should be, both for safety of the consumer and also for the sheer knowledge we could gain since we just don't know everything they are capable of.  Hell, the cure for cancer could be growing in our backyard!

Anyways, yeah, teething necklaces (and bracelets and anklets) are incredible.  I recommend them to everyone, seriously.  Even if you're not crunchy like yours truly, just try having your sweet little one rock it for the fashion statement part since they come in all sorts of colors.  :)

Cute, right?

Jude's Words And Delicacies

So I don't forget, I like to make a post every few months of all of the words Jude says and all of the foods he loves and hates since I know pretty soon, there will be too many on each list to keep track.

Words:
Mama
Dada
More
Yup
Dog
Banana
Puppy
Cat
Kitty
Hat
Bellybutton
Book
Go
Hello
Milk
Shoe
And there are plenty more words that he has made up for things that I have no idea how to spell.  :)

In regards to food, I'm super lucky:  I don't have a picky eater.  He LOVES veggies- the greener the better.  He doesn't dislike much, and the ones he doesn't like, I sort of agree with him since they are foods of a questionable texture.  Maybe the universe is giving me a non-picky toddler to make up for the fact that he woke up every 1-2 hours a night for the first 10 months.  He'll have an occasional fickle day where he turns up his nose at all of the faves and will only settle for macaroni and cheese or toast, but those are really rare.  Regardless, I realize I'm lucky and I'm grateful!

Foods Jude loves (the favorites):
Pears
Peaches
Zucchini/Squash
Cucumbers
Tomatoes
Pizza (who doesn't?)
Cheese
Crackers
Cheerios
Bread (let's be honest, Jude hasn't met a carb he didn't love)
Yogurt
Sweet Potatoes
Oatmeal
Peas!!
Carrots
Spinach
Green peppers
Salsa (mild of course)
Beans (black, pinto, baked- whatever)
Veggie Burgers
Lettuce
Raisins
Avocado
Veggie Eggrolls
Scrambled eggs
Toast
Pancakes
Macaroni and Cheese
Noodles with olive oil and garlic
Tofu
Frozen yogurt
Green beans
Mozzarella sticks
Tuna Salad
Onions
Mushrooms
Fish
Hashbrowns
Hummus
Potato Salad

Foods Jude hates:
Mandarin oranges
Mashed Potatoes (?!?!?)
Blueberries
Raspberries
String cheese
Cole Slaw

Apologies

Gah!  I feel awful for virtually abandoning this blog for the past month!  Things have been so busy with work lately that when I finally get home, play with Jude, do the bedtime routine, throw in laundry and then pick up the house, I usually collapse into bed.  I've been SO unbelievably tired lately.  Like pretty much just as exhausted as I was in the first trimester.  Plus, I've been having random bouts of nausea.  Sounds like pregnancy, right?  I thought so too.  So I peed on some sticks and can confirm to everyone with absolute, 100% confidence that pregnancy is NOT it.  While it would be nice to have another miracle baby without any fertility treatments again, we just aren't ready yet.  So, I'm thinking it's hormonal, possibly.  All I know is I hope it stops soon.  If not, off to the doctor I go.  I would think that with Jude sleeping 11 hours straight at night, I would be amazingly well rested.  Instead, I feel worse than when he was up every hour or two.  It could also just be the 9 months of virtually no sleep catching up with me. 

Anyways,

I have lots to write about and have made it my goal this week to write one entry every single day until I'm caught up.  I love this little blog and dearly miss the outlet it gives me.

More to come about Jude and less about me- I'm not as interesting and certainly not as cute!

14 months!

Likes:
Being chased and doing the chasing (crawling/walking around and around and around the living room)
Grabbing random things and putting them on his head and saying "hat!"
Having us say a line from a random book and then he goes to his shelf to pick out the book we are talking about (he gets it right pretty much every time!)
Climbing up and down stairs over and over and over
Watching older kids
Handing you a book and then snuggling into your lap
Giving hugs and kisses

Dislikes:
Cherries in fruit cocktail
Diaper changes
Getting into his car seat
Being told he can't do something

I'm not dead!

I have much more coming, I promise.  I'm just busy with lots of exciting things right now and will share soon!  Thanks for checking in- I'll be back this week!

Walk a mile...

Passive aggressive comments stated to others regarding how a "good mother" would still maintain an active social life and wouldn't be "only about their child" really, really, really anger and hurt me.  Especially when they come from people who do not have children.  And it stings even more when these statements come from people who have such importance in your life.  They have no idea how hard it is to find balance while working 40+ hours a week while raising a son and trying to mix in a little socializing here and there.  I may not be the same family member or friend that I was before I added mother to my title, but that doesn't mean that I haven't forgotten my previous roles.  They change, it's life. That's all I'm going to say as I try to smile and pretend like those comments don't break my heart.

I'm a good mother, damn it.

13 months!

It was hard enough to believe my little boy was a year last month.  Now he's officially one month into toddlerdom and oh what fun it is!  The monthly update!

Likes:
Pushing around his walker.  Actually, obsession is a good word to describe it.
Pushing around anything with wheels.
Playing with trucks and trains and making a "BRRRRRRRRR" motor sound while doing it.  Where does he learn this stuff??
Loves to have your recite a line from one of his book and he picks out what book it is.  He gets the right book about 98% of the time. 
Sign language.
Watching other kids.
Feeding the dogs his food from his highchair.  They now go outside during meals.
Dancing to music.
Veggie burgers.
His lovey at bedtime.
Bubbles.

Dislikes:
Diaper and clothing changes (this seems to be a staple every month).
Being interrupted if we have to leave when he's engrossed in an activity.
Going in the carseat.

The Joy of Having a Boy

I think most people would describe me as fairly laid back.  I don't necessarily freak out about much, am fairly accomplished in the procrastination department, and just have a very c'est la vie attitude about life in general.

That is, until Jude came along.

The paranoia was ridiculous at first.  Those beginning weeks, I could come up with these insane scenarios in my head about what could happen.  For example, I remember saying:  "Don't use any scented lotions or perfumes, Jude may develop allergies or ADHD.  I don't want anyone wearing perfumey crap while holding my baby."  That's one of the milder ones.  Anyways, as Jude got a bit older, I relaxed quite a bit.  Even when he was hospitalized for RSV back in February, I kept my cool for the most part.

Then he starting crawling.

The kid was into everything.  It was a little harder to maintain my zen demeanor when my 8 month old was halfway underneath a couch trying to reach the lamp plug to pull it out of the socket.  But, I maintained composure and we've survived.

Now he walks.  Nay, RUNS.  The kid is a thrill chaser of the most extreme kind.  Daycare says that they spend half of their days running and catching him as he launches himself off the top of the toddler slide.  At home, if a door opens, he crawls at breakneck speed to try and squish his fluffy cloth diaper butt through it to get to two things he is obsessed with:  stairs.  and the dogs' water bowl.  It's as if these two things are constantly on his mind.  Oh, and everything can be pushed.  The baby cribs at daycare, chairs, toyboxes, dressers, anything.  If it's there, Jude will try to push it along...hopefully down some stairs if he could.

Daycare called on Friday.  They were in a panic.  Jude had fallen while running and his tooth cut through his entire lip.  Blood everywhere.  Come get him.

I flew to daycare.  By the time I got there, he was surrounded by three of his favorite teachers, happily chewing on an icey toy and enjoying the attention.  I could tell by the look in his eye he was already pondering what his next adventure was going to be. 

The cut was hardly bleeding by the time I got there.  It wasn't very big on either side, but due to the location of the wound, it was gaping open.  I took him to Children's Hospital emergency room where I spent two awful hours.  First they had to put a cottonball full of numbing agent on the cut, band-aided to his face, for 20 minutes.  Yeah, right.  They say nothing is impossible?  Trying to convince a one year old to not lick, pull, freak out that a cotton ball of numbing liquid is taped to his lip is impossible.  Sadly, that wasn't the worst part.  The absolute worst thing I've been through with Jude was yet to come.

The ER doctors strapped him to a papoose so he couldn't move anything, covered his face with a sheet so that just the wound was exposed, and held his head in place.  The sheer terror and look in his eyes while he kept them on me the entire time he was being stitched up will haunt me forever.  I could tell that he was heartbroken that I wasn't coming to rescue him.  He was too young to understand what was going on, all he knew was that he was being tortured and his mama was doing nothing to stop them.  It broke my heart.  I never want to go through that again.  But chances are, I know I probably will.

Three stitches felt like thirty years.  They finally let him free and he spent the next hour alternating between sobbing and doing this little hiccup/shuddering thing.  I felt awful.  He finally took a nap on the way home and I just wanted to pull over and kiss his little tear-splotched face over and over and tell him how sorry I was.

He was pretty clingy the rest of the day, but in better spirits after his nap.  By bedtime, he had rubbed or licked all of his stitches out (they warned me that this was probably going to happen due to his age and the location) and I almost felt like I put him through all that for nothing.  The wound has stayed closed, though.

Someone mentioned to me that the money you save not buying cutesy, frilly, pink things for a girl is made up in ER copays on boys.  How true.

Close-up of the stitches.  Jude worked the middle stitch out before I could even get a photo.  Please excuse the banana on his face.  He's anything but dainty when he eats.

And my little Hurricane Jude back to work as usual.  Pushing a stroller.  Into the cat.