Admitting it is the first step.

Hello, my name is Erin and I am infertile.

I am officially starting an IF blog.

I think this will be very beneficial to just let everything out in writing in a place that I can keep away from everyone in my life who is blithely unaware of our struggles.

Ten years ago when I was in high school, Mom took me to the OB/GYN because I only got AF every six months or so. I should mention that I was already pursuing a professional ballet career and so I was your typical ten pounds underweight female. The doctor mentioned that I “probably” had PCOS, but most likely the reason for amenorrhea was because of my low weight and high activity level. She placed me on BCP and sent me on my way.

It is now ten years later, I’ve ‘retired’ from the ballet world at the age of 26, married my wonderful DH two and a half years ago, and threw out the BCPs at the same time. Here we are, years later, and BFN after BFN after BFN.

Went back to the OB/GYN where bloodwork was taken and the official PCOS with anovulation was diagnosed with AF showing every 3-4 months. In July, I went on 100 mg Clomid but did not O. Then 150 mg.  Then 200mg.  Then injectibles.  Then IUI.  Nothing is working.  :(
It’s hard not to get angry, when I see everyone else around me having absolutely no problems getting their BFP after the first week of trying.

It’s hard not to get bitter when the woman down the street collects welfare checks and is pregnant with her 6th baby from a different father.

I hate hearing God has a plan or that I shouldn't stress about it or it won't happen.

I never thought I would be that woman. Yet, here I am. And so begins the journey..