Love

I know I haven't written on here since October. I guess the reason why is that this baby is such a miracle in the first place, I've been so cautious of every little thing thinking it will be just too good to be true. I'm going to start writing faithfully now so that once our little Bean is born, I can look back and read about the incredible journey we went on. Today I am exactly 15 weeks. Now that I am safely in the second trimester, I'm shouting it out to the world...and it feels so good. I'M PREGNANT!!

The first trimester was a little rough. I got my morning sickness at night, which was both convenient in that I was able to get through the work day, and inconvenient in that my poor husband had to hold my hair back and feed me crackers and wipe vomit off my face every night. He's an amazing man. I tried to tell him often in between my heaving. I did experience the extreme fatigue and occasional cravings (egg salad, pineapple, anchovy pizza, Kraft macaroni & cheese).

Around 9 weeks, I had some bleeding, which was crushing. Turns out I have a subchorionic hematoma (blood clot) near my cervix that isn't too much of a threat, but the obvious source of the bleeding. We had an ultrasound at 9 weeks and it was such a relief to see little Bean just dancing away on that screen. My OB said to keep our fingers crossed at that point. At my last checkup at 12 weeks, she said we are pretty much in the clear for having a miscarriage. I've never felt relief wash over me like that. I have another appointment at 17 weeks on January 9, but not an ultrasound unfortunately. I believe this next appointment is the blood test to check for spina bifada and cystic fibrosis and all of that scary stuff. The worries just never seem to end. More frequent updates to come as we continue on this journey.

I love this baby so much.