Thoughts

I was talking with a good friend the other day who is 20 weeks pregnant with her second little girl. She was saying that this baby is her chance to do a lot of things differently. Her comment made me start thinking about Jude. Would I do anything different in regards to raising him? Is there anything I’ve learned these past 21 months that stopped and made me think “Hmm, mental note, if we have a second child don’t do this.” I’ve been trying to come up with anything I feel that I would differently with another baby… and I really can’t think of anything. We’ve just gone with our instincts and what feels natural when it comes to Jude, while still providing boundaries and discipline. He’s happy, well-adjusted, social, and respectful. Of course he has his occasional toddler moments of “NO! MINE!” or back-arching spaz attack when he doesn’t get his way, but not so often that I would call them anything other than being an ordinary toddler. With daylight savings time, there was a night this week that was a little rough and brought me back to the first year when every little creak or crack would wake him up, pretty much hourly. As I was rocking my almost two year old back to sleep, I was transported back to one of the many similar moments over a year ago and couldn’t help but smile. I kissed his sweet blond head and snuggled him a little tighter. I thought of all the “advice” I got during that time period about letting him cry it out because he was “manipulating” me. If ‘manipulating’ meant he needed his mommy to hold him in the dark because he was tired, scared, hungry and couldn’t get back to sleep on his own, so be it. Those moments felt like an eternity when I was in them, but now they feel like a million years ago. And I miss them. I suppose only time will tell if there are certain things I would change. But when I look at Jude right now – with his wild shock of white hair, infectious laugh, million watt smile, and his sheer enthusiasm for EVERYTHING- no, I wouldn’t have done anything differently.